House of Scorpio > The PAL System (Pervy Activity Liaison)

Both our Code of Conduct and the PAL system have been adapted with permission from the San Francisco institution Kinky Salon -- though a bit altered over the years to fit HoS.

In order to help maintain a safe, playful, and responsibly hedonistic playspace (and prevent wanky men lurking in the shadows), we use a technique called the Pervy Activity Liaison, or PAL. All event invites specify whether a PAL is required. If you want to come to one of our play events, these PAL rules apply:

The PAL System
  • You must arrive and leave with a trusted friend (not necessarily a date) as your PAL.
  • Your PAL can be a human of any gender or a couple.
  • You are responsible for your PAL's behavior, and they are responsible for yours.
  • You can't PAL someone you don't know. You must know them and trust them.
  • If either of you violate the Code of Conduct, you will both be held responsible.

Lacking a PAL? Come to our social events that don't require PALs and get to know our people. Over time, you may get to know someone well enough for you to PAL each other.

F.A.S.Q. (Frequently Asked Stupid Questions about the PAL system)

I am a single guy. Am I welcome? YES! For social events without a PAL requirement, as long as you are respectful, have read and understand the Code of Conduct, and are not in street clothes, you are welcome. For play events, you must have a PAL whom you know and trust. However, we recommend sticking to non-play events, as it can be pretty awkward standing around being single while the rest of the room gets it on. Come to the mixers first; meet some people.

I am a single guy. Can my PAL be another single guy? YES! As long as you know and trust them, can testify to their good character and agree to keep an eye on each other, your PAL can be any gender. And we think boys playing together is a beautiful thing :) We will note, though, that if you're a STRAIGHT guy, you may want to come with a female friend or a couple. It'll be better for everyone if you do.

I am a single girl. Do I really need to bring a PAL? YES! A PAL can be a human of any gender or a couple.

We are a couple, and we have a single friend. Can we bring them with us? YES! Please do!

Can I come with a group of three or more single friends? YES! But: PAL groups larger than three are not allowed, as it becomes much harder to hold people accountable. Please split up into 1 or 2-person PALs if there's more than three of you, so you know exactly whose behavior you're responsible for.

Can I meet someone online or at one of the mixers, and bring them as my PAL? NO! You must know your PAL, be able to testify to their good character and trust them. To come to the event with someone you don't fully know and trust is disrespectful to our community and compromises the safety of the space (and may get YOU kicked out if they do something stupid). That means DO NOT post on Facebook or message people on dating sites looking for PALs, as you'll only get yourself banned from our events -- and so will anyone stupid enough to take you up on it. If you meet someone at our of our mixers, you will need to spend enough time together outside of our venue in order to actually know and trust this person. We do not directly vouch for any guest.

Can you introduce me to someone to be my PAL? NO! The whole point of the PAL system is that you need to know and trust your party companion. Just you asking this question is enough to disqualify you from going, as you either don't understand or respect our safety system. Come to the social events, meet our community, and over time you might develop a strong enough friendship with someone to vouch for each other as PALs.

I know someone else who is going. If I buy tickets late, can I arrange at the last minute for them to be my PAL? YES! As long as they are there to meet you at the door when you arrive, and each PAL is no more than two people.

If I arrive 15 minutes before my PAL, can I wait there till they arrive? YES! But we will ask you to stay near the door so you can check in together.

Why do we need to leave together? You don't want to be held responsible for another person's late-night shenanigans. If you do leave without your PAL, we will still hold you responsible for your PAL's behaviour.

What happens if my PAL misbehaves? First we will talk to them, and then we will talk to you. If we have to talk to you again, you will be asked to leave, and you'll both get a permanent warning on file with us. If it's a serious offense, then they will be banned, and you will get a warning. If you are not there, we will contact you after the event, as you will still be responsible. If we can't make contact with you, neither of you will be welcome back in the future.

Will I get kicked out if my PAL misbehaves? You might. It depends on the situation.

What if I am new in town, single and don't know anyone? We always host no-PAL-required social events for our community. We also recommend connecting to poly, Burning Man and other open-minded circles to meet new people. However you meet people, just make sure you get to know them before you bring them to our parties as your PAL. In other words: do NOT ask anyone in our Facebook group, on dating sites, on FetLife, etc to be your PAL. You don't know them, and they don't know you. Asking strangers to be your PAL will get you instantly banned from all parties going forward.

I've been to a ton of parties...I am just passing through town...I don't know anyone...can I come alone? NO! And the fact that you'd even ask after we spell out everything about this system will earn you a warning on our list. Come on, folks.